How Random (Quickies)

- Spencer and Heidi tied the knot. I couldn't be happier for them...unless they were shooting each other in the face.

- Good God, this new Britney Spears show. Didn't anyone learn anything from that show she and Federline did? You know, THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION!?!? I like in the promo when she says "I am a smart person, what was I thinking" Britney a smart person? Yep, she is still fucking crazy. Look people, Britney sucks, she has always sucked. She dances like a man, has a giant forehead and talks like a hillbilly.

- What the hell is happening to the show Heroes? The first season was excellent. The second season was boring. This season has been OK, up until the last couple episodes. Tonight's episode was hands down the worst episode aired yet. I would like to add that this 10 year old Hiro shit is really making me dislike the character.

- Earl, what the fuck man, where is your list? My Name is Earl was a great show when it actually focused on Earl's list. The season he spent in jail sucked, and this season it seems the list is always secondary. Get back to the fucking list NBC.

Angela gets Robbed

Yeah, yeah, I know Jessica is the one that got the axe on Scream Queens this week, but Lindsay should definitely be next. It is kind of hard for me to bitch about anyone here. I don't really dislike Lindsay, but she is just fucking up left and right, and I am not seeing any brilliant acting. She was so completely awkward as a vampire. If that is her sexuality in action, she might as well have a cock. My favorite person in the vampire challenge is a toss up between Angela and Tanedra. Michelle was good, but she didn't do much for me. I normally would have found the accent that Angela was doing annoying, but to my surprise she pulled it off. That girl is so fucking gorgeous too. I am started to get obsessed with her, but am trying to not let it cloud my overall judgment.

Jessica rocked. She was as batty as a hoot owl, and pretty entertaining, but it is no surprise that she got the cut. Homa was right, she always played the same character. As I mentioned, Lindsay better go next week. As much as I hate to say it, I think Michell and Tanedra are going to be the final two. Tanedra rocked this week once again, and Michelle not only does well, but seems to be favored by the judges as well. Michelle looked good this week too. The glasses and pigtails helped disguise her enormous pumpkin head. Angela, I love you, and confidence is good, but over confidence is dangerous and ugly. Settle the fuck down a little bit.

Ok the race shit tonight was annoying. Michelle, you really are fucking stupid. Tanedra, you were fucking annoying about it. Worst bit on Scream Queens. You both should grow the hell up. I almost turned off the TV.

If I was going by tonight alone, Angela would have won hands down. Not because I want boink her, but because she did well in all three challenges, where as all the others screwed up on one or another.

Here is how I am voting...

Lindsay get the axe next week.
Michelle gets the axe the following week.
Tanedra gets robbed and gets the axe.
Angela wins because I am in love with her.

Take note judges...

Axing the Scream Queens

Angela

My latest TV obsession is the VH1 show Scream Queens. I really thought I was going to hate this show, but I am now addicted. I like two out of three of the hosts. James Gunn (director) and John Homa (acting coach) are good. I am a fan of Gunn's work, and he is entertaining enough, but Homa is the real stand out, with his no bullshit attitude. I love it when he makes some of the girls feel like shit, but only because they always deserve it. The worst of the three hosts is Shawnee Smith, an "actress". She is just horrible. I mean, I kind of like her...for some strange reason, but her personality is shit. If she is an actor, you would think she could at least act like a decent host. She is so God Damn mono toned with no expression what so ever..good or bad. I will say this much, the worst fucking actress on that show is a better actress, than Shawnee is a host.

Tanedra

Anyway, the show seems to be coming along nicely. The really bad actresses and ugly bitches seem to be getting cut in the right order. This week it was that horrible loud fugly bitch Sarah that got the axe, and the week before that it was borderline racist psycho retard tongue flipper Lina. Good riddens on both accounts. Hard to say who will go this week. Lindsay is pretty good, but she always blows it with her insecurities. Jessica is a nutcase, seriously, she is a wacko, but I love that about her. She did well this week, but for the most part she has been a shit actor. I think she can pull it out though. At least I hope she sticks around a while longer, because she is a fucking riot. Angela, mmm, mmmm, Angela. I think she has done better than she has been given credit, and I think she is getting better all the time. Along with Michelle, I think she takes Gunn's direction really well. Michelle seems to suck at a lot of challenges, but when they are actually filming something, and Gunn is giving real direction, she does excellent. I kind of hate to admit this, because Michelle is the kind of girl I wouldn't give a second look in my everyday life. She is WAY into herself, and too high maintenance. She isn't ugly, but she isn't that hot either. I mean, her head is gigantic. A big fucking melon. How does she keep from tipping over? It is like chuck Brown had a sex change or something. Anyway, last but not least, is the best actress on the show, Tanedra. Tanedra has never had any acting training, and she kills it. On acting talent alone, she should win this hands down. She is also attractive and seems to have a decent personality, so yeah, she deserves to win. That being said, I am pulling for Angela, because she is smoking hot, or Jessica, because she is a psycho....and hot...

WOW, Bikini Corey...

- You guys see that stupid bitch Corey and her crying act on Paris Hilton's My New Best Friend? (If not, click on the video above genius) Bahaha, does she have ANY idea of what a dipshit she looked like? Bikini Corey, you are a fucking retard. If you really were hot I might forgive you, but the fact is, you look like a little bronze rodent with big ol' basketball tits. For the record people, any chick with fake tits automatically scores much lower with me, but in this case, her tits are the least of her problems. But really, what can one expect from a whore that shook her shit in a Girls Gone Wild video?

How Random (quickies)

- STOP IT Tawny! You CAN NOT act, so stop trying to do so! Someone give her her drugs...lots and lots, and lots of them.

- Hey NBC, get that Kath and Kim shit out of my Thursday night sitcom line up. I am a fan of The Office, My Name is Earl, and especially 30 Rock and really used to look forward to Thursday nights, but Kath and Kim is some really dull stupid shit, that I cant bare to sit through. Selma Blair, Molly Shannon get off the air!

Obama Wins! Lets celebrate by purchasing a COIN...

OH FUCK, I should have seen it coming. The first commercial I saw this morning was for a Presidential elect Barack Obama commemorative coin. I voted for Obama, but I don't want a God damn commemorative coin. Who the fuck collects these gaudy ass giant coins?

Anytime something big happens that involves the US government, it doesn't take long for the commemorative coin commercials to pop up. The ABSOLUTE worst of the bunch is when they were hocking that Twin Towers coin. Typical of human beings to quickly find a way to cash in on a tragedy. Truly sickening, and any of you who would purchase such a thing are disgusting and should fuck right off.

You can bet there will be another commemorative coin following Obama's inaugural address. I bet you can't wait. Better buy two!!!

Celebrity Rehab - The Worst Kind

Man, VH1's Celebrity Rehab is chock full of bad acting. I will leave Rodney King and Gary Busey out of this. I am not going to slam King (even though his story keeps changing) because what happened to him was truly appalling. Who wouldn't start drinking their ass off after a bunch of honky pigs beat them to a pulp? Busey, well, he is just a complete nutcase, and it doesn't surprise me that he has brain damage one bit. The dude needs a mental hospital though, not rehab. Holy hell, spending time with "Dr." Busey would totally give me a drug craving. Anyway, lets talk about these other "people"...

OK, that American Idol bitch Niki McKibbin is disgusting. I think she used to be a bit attractive from what I can remember, but now she just looks like a fatty small town hillbilly. Clearly from the sight of her fat ass, she hasn't done ENOUGH cocaine. Boohoo, her Mom died. Happens to people everyday bitch, deal with it. Didn't she have a kid? I hope that thing is in a home somewhere.

Amber Smith, hmmm, she is pretty hot, but she seems like a real bitch. Big surprise there huh? Maybe she just isn't doing the RIGHT drugs? Put her on something to make her less of a crotchety old woman.

Steven Adler, man, I feel kind of bad for this guy. He genuinely seems like a nice guy. I saw Guns N' Roses back in the day, before they were huge, before that glossed over Use Your Illusion bullshit, when Steven was still in the band, and they played real rock 'n roll. That being said, I don't fully believe his story of being kicked out on the streets at the age of 11, blah, blah, blah. It just sounds too much like the typical tragic rock star fantasy. I do think he has had a rough life, I just think he has brought most of it on himself trying to live that rock star fairy tail like all his loser heroes. To me, rock star junkies are a complete cliche joke. Still, I would like to see Steve make it clean, but that is so doubtful.

Tawny Kitan, wow, hard to believe she can even be considered a celebrity. What the hell has she ever done besides hump a car in a cheesy hairband video in the 80's? She is also completely full of shit, and a terrible actor. I can tell a liar from a million miles away, and her story about making up this Tawny Persona on her way to school one day is complete bullshit. Hey Julie, fuck off, you are completely worthless in this world. Do us all a favor and overdose already.

The biggest mess on the show is easily Jeff Conaway. Back from season one, because he has an endless string of problems he is most likely never going to get past. He and Gary are probably the most entertainment in this show, but not for good reason. I kind of hate to slam the guy, even though he is so fucking over the top, so lets slam his GIRLFRIEND. I don't remember her name, but she is a horrible, horrible person that I wouldn't wish on the worst man...or woman. she is your typical LA drug addled hanger on who is obviously just with Jeff for his "celebrity" status. As full of shit as most of the people on this show are, none are more so than her. Jeff needs to wake up and get rid of her for good. I am sure he can find another chick to feed him his pills.

The worst of the worst on this show is Rod Stewart's son Sean. I really can't stand these young people that are born with 25 silver spoons in their mouth and just spend their time clubbing and getting fucked up, then all of a sudden cry addiction. FUUUUCK YOU! There are real people in this world, with real problems, things you would never understand. Nothing you can say will earn you sympathy from me. Aww, your Father was never around when you were a kid, he was always on tour, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, well my Dad was never around either, he was too busy drinking his time away down at the bar with all his loser friends, but you don't see me a damn junkie or drunk. Fuck that, that is the last thing I want to be. This guy just needs to be kicked to the curb and spit on. Grow some balls and lose the attitude you smug little twit.

I will end this by saying I want to bend Nurse Shelly over a desk....

Amy Winehouse the Goddess Bunny

I really can't believe that nobody has put two and two together yet, but it is clear as a sober day that UK junkie microphone killer Amy Winehouse is actually transvestite Polio victim LA performer The Goddess Bunny. Don't believe me? Take a look...

Laguna Gangsta

The E Channel's show Daily 10 did a bit on Lauren Conrad's makeup techniques today, focusing on her "cat" eyeliner. Uh, that is Latino gangsta bitch eyeliner shit. It looks like shit on those whores, and it looks like shit on Conrad. Put a bag on it LC.